Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Friends at a Distance

How close is too close for friends? We have been asking our selves that the past few days, its not that we don't enjoy friends and having people over, but is living 3 buildings down too close?
Here is the situation:
We have some good friends that are going to be moving literally right next door. Now we like to hang out with them and have family dinners and what not, however we still like to keep our friends at a safe distance. We do not like it when people expectantly drop in or come over for every little thing or when they fight. Now we have known them for almost a year (a long time for military people) and they have had their ups and downs and we have our own opinions on everything. The issue at hand is that we have what they don't  so when they want to say use the computer and internet they ask to come over, well in tow is the WHOLE family including kids, one is the same age as Kaiya and then they have an infant. Well when they come over its fine and dandy for the first 2 hours but when we get into hours 4 and 5 and the kids are getting at each other, my house is turned upside down and I am fully irritated and cleaned out of juice and food and my trash is full, lets just say that is enough for me.Not to mention that they only have 1 vehicle and the husbands both work at the same place in the same unit and everything, so "ideally" for them carpooling would be great so she can have the car and do what ever. "Ideally" for us, that isnt going to be happening. We have our own life outside of friends and I am not wasting more money on things that other people need to do, go and take care of because they wanted to "carpool".
Now our issue is how do explain/tell them that we are great full for them to be our friends, yet we would still like the distance that we had when they lived 25 mins away. We have gone over various scenarios and all of them sound totally selfish and rude and these are the people who will take it that way and feel like we hate them and abandoned them in their time of need (which we totally havent, and we have been more then supportive financially and friendly in their "times" of need).
I know it sounds a little like we dont like them, we do, we just like our space and distance from them... Now the question comes as to what do we do and how do we do it with out being extremely rude.

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